|
You love him even though you have never seen him. Though you do not see him now, you trust him; and you rejoice with a glorious, inexpressible joy.
*I Peter 1.8 (NLT)
If we fill our thoughts with sin and damnation and the wrath of God ..., we cannot love God. We will hate him as a tyrant, and run away from him. But when the gospel of Christ demonstrates how God loves us first, forgives us, and has mercy on us, then we love again.
*William Tyndale. The Parable.
* * *
Lloyd Ogilvie, in his book Enjoying God, shares how he came to experience the grace and joy of Life...
My formative years ingrained the quid pro quo into my attitude toward myself: do and you'll receive; perform and you'll be loved. When I got good grades, achieved, and was a success, I felt acceptance from my parents. My dad taught me to fish and hunt and worked hard to provide for us, but I rarely heard him say, "Lloyd, I love you." He tried to show it in actions, and sometimes I caught a twinkle of affirmation in his eyes. But I still felt empty.
When I became a Christian, I immediately became so involved in discipleship activities that I did not experience the profound healing of the grace I talked about theoretically.....
I'll never forget as long as I live the first time I really experienced healing grace. I was a postgraduate student at the University of Edinburgh. Because of financial pressures I had to accordion my studies into a shorter than usual period. Carrying a double load of classes was very demanding, and I was exhausted by the constant feeling of never quite measuring up. No matter how good my grades were, I thought they could be better. Sadly, I was not living the very truths I was studying. Although I could have told you that the Greek words for grace and joy are charis and chara, I was not experiencing them.
My beloved professor, Dr. James Stewart, that slightly built dynamo of a saint, saw into my soul with x-ray vision. One day in the corridor of New College he stopped me. He looked me in the eye intensely. Then he smiled warmly, took my coat lapels in his hands, drew me down to a few inches from his face, and said, "Dear boy, you are loved now!"
* * *
One thing that fascinates me about Jesus is how he seemed to penetrate with Love to the core of persons. So, persons who were "nobodies" and "unclean" flocked by the thousands to be near him. Of course, religious "professionals" invested in the quid pro quo sought to kill him, and had him killed, eventually.
Christian living is about living the Grace that brings freedom from having to measure up to some external standard that we can think makes us okay. We do not have to measure up to be loved by Christ. Jesus Christ looks at us, and that look, penetrating to our core, says, "You are lovable, now; you are loved, always."
Even now, sometimes old feelings of unlovableness creep through into my mind. I am still learning how much God loves me - and everyone. It is a Journey, deeper and deeper into recognition that God is wholly, thoroughly Love. Christ is the Word of Love. The Holy Spirit makes that real to us, not just as an idea, but as a felt-Reality.
Contemplative Prayer is a way of Love. We speak of a loving gaze, inwardly toward the Divine Presence. God is not to be slavishly feared; God is not counting your rights and wrongs. God is not preparing to either welcome you to a heaven or let you be thrown forever into some hell, based on just how "good" or "bad" you prove to be. God looks at all with a loving gaze, even when - in human terms, that gaze is saddened by our harming others or ourselves - and our devotional times are periods we set aside to practice returning that Loving.
Prayer is, essentially, the energy of Loving Gazing. And we do not have to always have loving feelings in our set-aside times with God. Simply the intent to Love is the expression of Love. So, relax, be, smile, and let Love flow - and sometimes this loving is simply the faithfulness to be present to the One who is already and always fully present to you.
* * *
*The quote from Tyndale is from Bernard Bangley, Ed. Near to the Heart of God: Daily Readings from the Spiritual Classics. Compiled and Prepared for the Modern Reader. The quote from Ogilvie is from Contemporary Illustrations for Preachers, Teachers, & Writers. Edited by Craig Brian Larson.
*Charitable contributions would be appreciated to assist Brian in continuing his ministry. For contributions, contact Brian at barukhattah@embarqmail.com .
*Brian's book of spiritual love poetry, An Ache for Union: Oneness with God through Love, can be ordered through major booksellers or the Cokesbury on-line store, cokesbury.com .
*Brian K. Wilcox, a United Methodist Pastor, lives in Southwest Florida. He is a vowed member of Greenbough House of Prayer, a contemplative Christian community in South Georgia. He lives a contemplative life and seeks to inspire others to enjoy a more intimate relationship with Christ. Brian advocates for a spiritually-focused, experiential Christianity and renewal of the Church through addressing the deeper spiritual needs and longings of persons.
|
